FF: Christmas Excerpt

The weather had turned colder and it didn’t help that the camp was on an exposed hilltop overlooking the ruined city. Nathan and L’lillianth sat side by side, Nathan’s arm around her shoulder, her head leaning on his. Her wings were furled in tight against the cold and wind, bits of emerald, scarlet, and sapphire glinting off the sun and contrasting to his dark hair and complementing the scarlet of hers.
As I walked up I heard L’lillianth say, “Merry Christmas, love.” She moved slightly and I assumed she was giving him something.
“I didn’t think you celebrated Christmas,” Nathan’s smile was evident in his voice and in the emotions pouring off of him. “But, I got you something too.”
“Well, we predominately worship the goddess, but we recognize Christ too,” L’lillianth replied. “Besides, we—or I should say some of us since our religions are as diverse as humans’ are—believe without him, our Goddess couldn’t have been able to ascend back to heaven, and by extension, neither could the rest of us. It’s really complicated but the long and short of it is, that Christmas is as important to many of us as it is to you.”
I started blushing started to turn around even as I heard rustling and heard her exclaim, “Oh, Nathan! It’s beautiful!” Her emotions of contentment and gratitude and admiration washed over me and I blushed more grateful that no one was able to see my face at the moment.
I felt a similar wash of emotion come from him seconds later and I assumed he had opened his gift as well. “Thank you, Lillian. I love it,” I heard him say.
I quickened my pace away. I should have realized they wanted a private moment when I was told they had come up the hill. I was so anxious to give them my gifts that I didn’t think that maybe they wanted time alone together. Familiar sadness and jealousy bit at me. I didn’t sense anyone else around but still I hid the attempts to brush my tears away by acting as if I was brushing my lavender bangs out of my face. Dafiah it all! I scold myself. Stop begrudging them their happiness. I made up my mind to give them their gifts later.
I was almost out of ear shot when I heard L’lillianth speak up again. “You know, someone’s missing though.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I heard Nathan’s reply as I hurried down the path. I winced. They were referring to L’lillianth’s sister T’Floriá, who had been almost constantly at their side up till the moment she had fallen and been taken away from us. Almost as close a friend to me as L’lillianth, her absence left a deep rift in my heart as well.
So convinced they were referring to T’Floriá that I almost fell when I heard a thought come across my mind. “V’Letta, I know you’re there and I know you can hear me so stop all the pretence, the hiding, and the running away and come here.” I turn around startled and see both Nathan and L’lillianth looking over their shoulders at me expectantly. “Come on, we’re waiting for you!”
I hesitantly make my way back up the path, giving Nathan a suspicious glance. “You told her, didn’t you?” I asked, somewhat hurt.
“Told her what?” He thought back, confused.
“You told her I’m telepathic.”
“No, I made a promise and kept it. Why do you think I told her?” His puzzlement was so genuine; I couldn’t help but believe him.
It was my turn to be confused. “If you didn’t tell her, then who did?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
I was nearly on top of them at this point and as I started to circle around beside them, L’lillianth reached up and grabbed my hand, pulling me down into her lap with a grin.
“About time you got back here, V’Letta. I’m a little miffed at you for sneaking up and then trying to sneak off. I’m even more miffed that you hid the fact that you’re telepathic from me all these years.” Her green eyes pierced mine and I flinched at the hurt they revealed as her smile disappeared. “You’re my best friend. Why did you hide that from me?”
“I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you. I saw you together and I decided to head back and wait for you.” I looked away in shame. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was a telepath. I… I didn’t want anyone to know. I was...” I searched for words and found them. “I was scared. I was scared of what you would think of me. I was scared of how you would treat me and act around me. I was scared you would hate me if you found out.”
She looked down at me with sad eyes. “V’Letta, you’re my friend and I love you very much. I always thought you loved me too, until I realized how many really important secrets you kept from me.”
“V’Letta does love you, Lillian. I’ve known that from the time I met her,” Nathan said softly.
“I do, L’lillianth. More then I think you know,” I looked down, blinking to clear some of the tears that fell. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have. I wish I knew who told you though. I’ve only ever told one person and I know they didn’t tell you.”
“No one told me, V’Letta. You gave yourself away, reacting and responding to things that I and Nathanial had never said. When that happened enough, I figured it out.” She hugged me close. “I also am pretty sure Nathan is the person you told by the way he never seemed too surprised by it.” At his worried look she smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry I’m not angry with him, but please no more secrets, okay?”
I nodded. “No more secrets. There’s some things you should know though. About why I joined your house and what happened to my father,” I told her. “I joined your house in the hopes that I could eventually restore my own. And my Father…”
She cut me off. “I always figured that was at least part of why you joined our house, V’Letta. It’s also part of why I hated it; because you shouldn’t have had to. And whatever you have to say about your father can wait.”
She looked over to Nathan who handed her a box. She took it and held it for a moment as he fingered the remains of the collar she had given him nervously. “We have something for you… something a bit more then a Christmas present but before we give it to you, we have a couple of questions for you.” His voice sounded nervous and his thoughts were so conflicted I couldn’t make them out. “The first is do you love “Lillian as much as I do?” he asked.
I blinked. I knew he loved her deeply. I hesitated as I saw both of them were looking at me, waiting for my response and watching my reaction. “I don’t think your love for her can be measured,” I said softly. “But I know you would die for her in a heartbeat without a second thought and that you would do anything to make her happy. I love her too. I would die for her, for either of you in a heartbeat. But I don’t know if I love her any more or less then you do. I don’t know how to measure it.”
He searched my face. “Let me rephrase that. Are you in love with Lillian?”
I blinked. How do you admit you’re in love with your best friend to her fiancé? I looked down and sighed trying to pull away from L’lillianth. “I’m really uncomfortable with the way these questions are going.” I stated.
L’lillianth held me in place and said softly, “Its okay, V’Letta, just answer and be honest. It will be okay I promise, but please answer.”
“Yes,” I sighed. “Yes I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her for years.”
I felt a little bit of jealousy from Nathan, and a little surprise from L’lillianth, but neither said anything for a moment. Instead, Nathan nodded as if something he suspected was just confirmed.
I winced and stiffened, looking away. I tried to get up again but L’lillianth held me in place still, both arms wrapped around me, holding the box Nathan had given her in one hand, the other clasped around her wrist.
Her next question took the fight out of me and made me slump across her arms. I was already crying, but the tears seemed to come even more freely, leaving dents in the snow under us. “And what about Nathanial. Are you in love with him as well?”
The only thing worse then admitting that you’re in love with your best friend in front of her and her fiancé is admitting you’re in love with your best friend’s fiancé in front of both of them. I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded. “Yes,” I admitted softly.
This time Nathan was the one that seemed more surprised and L’lillianth a bit jealous, but I sensed something else. I expected them to be mad at me. I even expected that one or both might even hate me for my admissions. What I didn’t expect was to sense a little bit relief and more then a bit of nervousness and fear from both of them. Nor did I expect to have L’lillianth press the box she was holding into my hands and whisper in my ear. “Open it.”
Hesitantly, awkwardly, I opened the box. It was hinged and the inside was lined with black velvet. Lying on the velvet was something that looked like a kind of glove or armband made out of emerald wire. In the center of that sat a ring that looked almost identical to the one that L’lillianth wore, only instead of bits of emerald surrounding the diamond, it was bits of amethyst.
It took me a minute to realize the significance to these gifts. When I did my eyes went wide as I looked up into first Nathan’s eyes and then L’lillianth’s. Both had too many emotions and thoughts running through them for me to be able to tell what they were feeling or thinking, but their faces were both expectant as I looked back and forth between them speechless.
After a few seconds I found my voice. “Are you sure? This isn’t… it has been ages since… I mean are you sure?”
It was Nathan that spoke first very quietly as he reached out and took my hand. “We’re sure. Lillian and I talked this over for quite a while. It was her idea, but I agree with it. The question is how do you feel about it?”
I looked over to L’lillianth and saw her nod. “It’s up to you. We won’t force you if this is not what you want.”
I looked down at the glove and took a few ragged breaths as I tried to get my thoughts in order. Finally, I slid the gifts on, first the glove then the ring. “I… I will make yours as soon as I can,” I stuttered completely overcome. Tears were still flowing, but they were tears of happiness.
“I don’t know I can ever really be able to fulfill your needs sexually,” L’lillianth directed her thoughts to me. “But we both love you with all our hearts and if its possible to be in love with you without being attracted sexually to you I am. But if you give me time maybe I can try.”
“I will never ask more then you can give. Just knowing you love me is enough. I’ll not touch Nathan either if you wish me not to.”
“He will be your husband as much as he is mine, silly. Do what you want with him. I’ll be a little jealous, at least at first but I’ll get over it. It’s between you and me that might be the problem. I’m not the least into other women. I just know I love you and am worried that I will disappoint you.”
L’lillianth embraced me into a tight hug. “Merry Christmas,” she purred.
Nathan shifted so he could wrap his arms around the both of us. “Merry Christmas,” he echoed.
I directed my thoughts to them both. “Well if I am going to be your wife, it’s only fair you both know my true name, especially since I know both of yours. My true name is actually a human name. I am Violet.” I couldn’t see their smiles, but I could feel them even as I heard myself whisper. “Merry Christmas.”